Hidden 3D

Cinema31 - Hidden 3D
Director : Antoine Thomas
Writer : Mariano Baino, Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni, Alan Smithy
Stars : Sean Clement, Simonetta Solder and Jordan Hayes
Genre : .Horror, Thriller
Release date: 2011

Trailer : 
 Review: Wow. It's really hard to describe how bad Hidden 3D is. The plot is: your typical guy inherits a spooky mansion (in this case it's a monastery that was used by his mother as an addiction rehab center, and it looks like a basement from a SAW film instead of a church); the guy goes with a group of his friends (in this case an ambiguous "team" of people who we are never properly introduced to nor do we know why they are there in the first place) to spend the night (in this case, just to go inside and get plunged into the stupidness without even waiting for nightfall) during which everyone starts getting killed off.

If this rehashed plot isn't bad enough, the acting is beyond horrendous (you will actually wish the whining, helpless females would get killed already), the dialogue is so terribly written it can't even be considered funny in a camp sort of way ("Let's get out of here!" "I told you there was something wrong with this place."), the sound effects are so bad that at one point during the big climax I had to put it on mute to make sure the alarm on my clock radio wasn't going off, and basically--nothing scary happens, there's no gore (doesn't even justify a PG rating), and the monsters only appear for about a half second at a time.

There is actually a spark of an original idea here, that the monsters are the personifications of various addictions, but this film of course takes that idea nowhere. It would be really creepy if one monster smoked cigarettes while doing the dirty deed and another one killed people through some means of gambling or some other addiction, but instead, all the monster are just bad cannibalistic zombie duplicates of something I must have seen in at least half a dozen other films and that was ripped off from the original Resident Evil video game, just kids with some type of tentacles coming out of their mouths. What does that have to do with addictions? What if the characters were all suffering from addictions and that's why the monsters feed on them? What if the monsters somehow looked like their addictions, like one was really fat from being addicted to food and another one had hypodermic needles for fingers or something. Give us something. Anything.

But no. What we get instead are mysterious flying insects that probably look cool in 3D, but if you actually bother to see Hidden, it's going to be on DVD or online, so of course, Hidden 3D won't even be in 3D.

What a waste of $8,000,000. That's all I have to say about it.
(Source : imdb.com/title/tt1664664/) 
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